To the lady who cut me off yesterday... you are loved more than you can imagine.

To the student who took the last strawberry kiwi yogurt... you are loved more than you can imagine.

To the father that destroyed his daughter's self-esteem... you are loved more than you can imagine.

To the husband who decided to ignore his wedding vows... you are loved more than you can imagine.

To the mother who ran off on her children, leaving them to face the world alone... you are loved more than you can imagine.

To the AIDs patient who infected over 200 females will HIV... you are loved more than you can imagine.

To the 13 year old girl who looks in the mirror and believes all the worlds lies... you are loved more than you can imagine.

To the precious orphan sitting on a dirty floor, clinging to a ratty teddy bear, aching to be loved... you are loved more than you can imagine.

To the girl struggling with an eating disorder... you are loved more than you can imagine.

To the widow who cries herself to sleep at night... you are loved more than you can imagine.

To the woman who is running from God... you are loved more than you can imagine.

To the guy who is having to make a pretty big decision within the next couple months... you are loved more than you can imagine.

To the friend who is trying so hard to let go and let God... you are loved more than you can imagine.

To the cancer patient who just lost her hair and is struggling to see hope in her situation... you are loved more than you can imagine.

To the friend who took out time in her day to listen to a girl who never told anyone the hurt she felt inside... you are loved more than you can imagine.

To the brother who drinks his problems away... you are loved more than you can imagine.

To the son who is being bullied and picked on hourly... you are loved more than you can imagine.

To the bride who lost her groom to a drunk driver... you are loved more than you can imagine.

To the drunk driver that killed the bride's groom... you are loved more than you can imagine.

To the elderly lady who is discouraged with her life... you are loved more than you can imagine.

To the parents who just lost their only child... you are loved more than you can imagine.

To the precious baby boy who will not know what the birds, the flowers, the oceans, the mountains look like... you are loved more than you can imagine.

To the fire fighter who worked so hard to get a little girl out of the fire alive, and lost her... you are loved more than you can imagine.

To the girl who just received the unexpected news that a little life is growing inside of her... you are loved more than you can imagine.

To the boss who fired all of his employees in order to save his own behind... you are loved more than you can imagine.

To the student who received a bundle of bad grades... you are loved more than you can imagine.

To the pastor who stole money from the church... you are loved more than you can imagine.

To the faithful xanga reader who read all the way through this list and wants to know what in the world I'm talking about.. you are loved more than you can imagine.

Don't you get it? No matter who you are, what you're going through, or what you've done- YOU ARE LOVED MORE THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE. My heart aches to hear all the pain of the people around me. Tears have been falling like crazy this week as I read through emails, listened to voicemails and received calls of how hard some of the situations are for my family, my friends, my brothers and sisters in Christ. My body shakes to think of all the times I've been so wrapped up in my own situations, that I failed to see anothers struggles. My head hurts thinking how words of hatred come out of my mouth the second somebody hurts me, or cuts me off or takes the yogurt I wanted. As Christ followers it is our duty to speak love.

So to anyone who is hurting, struggling, aching, breaking, trying to get through the day alive- God is bigger than anything you may be facing. And He sure does love you... more than you can imagine!

 Erica Marie

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed His love among us: He sent His one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us. We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, 'I love God,' yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And He has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother." 1 John 4:7-12, 19-21

"God is aiming at something His little girl cannot see. He continues to stretch and strain and every once in a while the girl throws her hands up in the air and says, 'Daddy, I can't take any more!' God listens, but goes on stretching until His purpose is in sight. In His own timing, with His own equipment His little girl will see the purpose of His stretching, poking, breaking, straining. Though it may take a whille, it will be better than she could ever imagine."

It's been a tough week, but God has proven to me over and over again that He alone is in control and that no matter what He dishes out He will get me through it. Thank all of you so much for the prayers and the sweet hugs, e-mails, im, notes, etc. You have no idea how much of a blessing you all are to me!

Finding comfort in my Savior,

Erica Marie

R.I.P Grandma 12-6-06 I am truly going to miss you...

I'm giving myself a 15 min break from studying for my dev. psych exam and I just felt the need to write, I hope you don't mind! It seems like the whole AU campus that is on xanga has written about chapel this morning and even written about Alacritas (my social club) meeting last night (yea T!) and I am totally going to copy. Hehe!

Have you ever felt like God wasn't listening? Like all you did was ask, seek AND knock, but sit there wondering where the big loud "do this" voice was? It feels like I've prayed for wisdom, for guidance, for an itty bitty light that would give me some sense of where I should go from here and all I've heard is silence. No whisper on my heart, no 2x4 smacking me upside the head... just silence.

Sometimes I get so irritated with that silence that I literally cannot even utter a word in prayer... I have no more words to say... and you know what? That's exactly the place where He needs me to be.

Last night at our Alacritas meeting we had "quiet time" where we washed each others feet and prayed for each other. Just sitting there trying to take it all in, I heard one of my Ala sisters say, "I'm just so fed up with Him not listening to me." Everything in me got goosebumps.

A quiet whisper came over me that said, "I love you!"

Annnnddd? I wanted to say! I know THAT, but what I really want to know is all the answers to the questions I've been asking You for weeks." He replied simply, "I love you!"

Very stubborn and irritated yet again with Him, I went back to my room and headed straight to bed. I didn't want to pray, nor think about His comment. My room was hot, my head was pounding and I was def. pouting.

My alarm went off this morning and once I realized what was going on, I listened to the song that was playing (sorry if it woke you Leah Peah and T)...

Take a look at the mountains
Stretching a mile high
Take a look at the ocean
Far as your eye can see
And think of Me

Take a look at the desert
Do you feel like a grain of sand?
I am with you wherever
Where you go is where I am

And I'm always thinking of you
Take a look around you
I'm spelling it out one by one

(Chorus)
I love you more than the sun
And the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine, and you shine for me too
I love you yesterday and today
And tomorrow, I'll say it again and again
I love you more

Just a face in the city
Just a tear on a crowded street
But you are one in a million
And you belong to Me

And I want you to know
That I'm not letting go!!!!!
Even when you come undone!!!!!!

For the second time He whispered, "I love you!" Still thinking about the song, I went about my day and then it came time for chapel. Today was an all praise chapel... we sang the entire time and the second to last song hit me hard. "I love you!"

I had to sit down... "God, we've gone through this already. You love me, that's fabulous and wonderful, but you see my parents love me and they TALK to me when I need them to. My friends love me and they answer me. You are God... You know Lord of the Heavens, Maker of the world... why aren't You talking to Your child who needs You?!"

The leader of the worship cut in and said, "He loves you. He LOVES you. HE LOVES YOU!" Over and over he kept saying it...

I couldn't hold in the tears any longer. After two months of feeling like I was going through the biggest drought of my life, but never wanting to admit it to anyone, and then finally beginning to wrap my brain around what God was trying to tell me... I just couldn't take it.

Sometimes He doesn't talk because we're not ready to hear what all He has to say. He has to allow us to be broken, because it's only then that we let go of ourselves and the world, turn to God and say, "Ya know I love You too... soooo much... and I'm going to do whatever it takes to be walking in YOUR path."

It won't be easy, but it will sure be worth it in the end.

All I can do is lay my burdens at His feet, climb up in His lap and let He lead me where I'm suppose to go...

Hugs and prayers, Erica Marie

"May you LIVE all the days of your life."

Had some pretty hard news come my way today, I shared it with one of my friends and she asked me, "Erica, honestly how can you be so optimistic all the time, even when something like that happens."

So in trying to come up with an answer for her... I came up with this:

I love my life. I have been sooooo very blessed with the greatest family and friends a girl could ask for. Of course I have had my own share of yuckie storms, but haven't we all?! It's IN those storms that God shows you His power. Like the song says, "I must go through the valley to stand upon the mountain of God."

I wish I could say that whenever something hard hits me, I lift my hands up in the air and sing praises to God, but in all reality I usually start balling. My eyes get all puffy, my nose starts to run, no one can understand a single word I'm saying... but all that passes because God always whispers, "Erica, we have been over this. You are going to be okay. I have provided before, haven't I? Would I let you down?"

No joke, He blessed me with two amazing parents that I can call whenever I want and no matter how hard I try to hide my mood- they catch it. No matter what I am going through my parents always take the time to talk me through it. They show me the POSITIVE side of things and always have me giggling by the end of the conversation. Even if I didn't have earthly parents, my Daddy in Heaven does the same thing.

As a general rule we all need to realize that this world stinks. We live in a world of greed, anger, hate, addiction, abuse, corruption, genocide, and war. This is a fact. Accept it. Life stinks.

Things often don't happen as we plan them. People will be mean, you will be hurt. People you love will die. Those you thought were your friends will indeed turn their backs on you. The one you love the most will probably hurt you the most, because you never expected it from them. People will try to use you. Your beloved car may be ruined in a wreck; your dog will probably eat your favorite pair of shoes. You will wake up one morning and realize you don't have enough money to go for your dreams. Your character will be tested, and you will be held accountable. Your heart will get broken into a million little pieces. People will lie, cheat, and steal- probably to you, on you, and from you. You will have to make the hardest decisions. You will make mistakes. Life is unfair. You can't control it. Money will always seem like a need.Your favorite pet will die. You will struggle to find your purpose.Your friends will change, you will too. The unthinkable can happen. You'll want to give up from time to time and you will be forced to pick yourself up off the ground and try again. And thats the life stinking part.

But, you have to remember the POSITIVE things about life.

There will be days when you laugh hard enough to make your ribs hurt. When the gorgeous sunset stops you in dead in your tracks, and you stand in awe. When you get to hold a baby or a puppy and see the wonder of God's creation. When you feel the rain and get to dance around in its puddles. You will have long nights with good friends- in which you will end up laughing, crying, or doing a little both. You will have the ability to say whatever you want. The pretty spring flowers will always bloom. You have the opportunity to stand in front of the ocean, admiring the power, grace, and expansiveness. You will have the opportunity to lay down on the grass and pick out which shape a cloud looks like. The smell of the bonfire. The peace and tranquility you feel after a wonderful camping trip. Seeing bunnies, birds, squirrels, or fawns frolicking. Hearing I love you. Feeling loved. Dancing in the moonlight. Fogiving someone, letting go of the anger. The way you feel the first time your baby looks into your eyes, or the first time they wrap their tiny, little hand around your finger. Driving to the beach in the middle of the night. Fireworks. Sparks. The first kiss. Holding hands. Watching a great movie. The taste of the first bite of a great meal. Seeing your favorite band play. Having someone look into your eyes, and know they see your soul. Climbing trees. Smelling the rain before it comes. Rainbows. The perfect vacation. Pouring your heart out, and being heard. Trees during autumn, so beautiful! The smell of freshly cut grass. Singing your favorite song at the top of your lungs. Dancing around the house in your underwear. Making the greatest friends in the world. Singing at the top of your lungs with a thousand other Christians.

So while life stinks, these things are woven over, under, and through it, remember the HAPPY things in your life. These are the things that make life precious. These are the things that make me a life lover. And so I will continue on, following my heart, doing what I believe is right, and looking for these little jewels that life puts out there for us to see and experience. The little things that God puts in your life are meant to be gifts for your not so good days.

Smile it will all be okay!